omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize