you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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