C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
