When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is Oprah even human
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
