I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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