good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
