Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
