i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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