so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
