Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
