You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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