She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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