i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
