I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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