What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
