I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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