If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
