I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
