I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
