the new term for farting is butt boxing.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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