Ambien. No doubt about it.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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