He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
