Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
