when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize