we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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