I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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