they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
