Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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