Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
