last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
