Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
