R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
