i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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