I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
worst night to have a conscience
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
