He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
