1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i don't like sucking hair
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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