I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Fuck appropriateness.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
