So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
