i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
