I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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