I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
