Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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