If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
