drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it because I queefed?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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