Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
