I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize