you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
