So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
