Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
