You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
