We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I want a musical about memes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
