im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
