tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
