I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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