Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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