is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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