My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
